AESTHETIC ESCAPISM AND THE QUEST FOR BEAUTY

On my dealing with reality and human condition during that unsettling period.

Hi ZOnErz

SoOOoOO we are confined. I have to say I have 3 articles lined-up tackling some of that sweet analysis on fashion, that I didn’t finish. That is because my egoistic millennial a**, in this period of social-distancing, only has energy to “FoCuS On HeRSeLf”, listen to numerous (too many) self help podcasts and JoURNal (yes, writing that, I too cringe on my level of basicness). I thus thought it would be a marvellously cathartic use of my now exponentially more important free-time to get personal and analyse thoroughly something I have been tapping into from a very young age, aesthetic escapism. Disclaimer, it is going to be extremely biased and opinionated (make this your twitter handle) but I deeply think that, at a healthy dose, it can alleviate some of the existential angst we are all going through right now. If you are here to read more factual analysis on the state of the Fashion Affairs and pop-culture, tune in for the next articles and skip this one. If you are still reading, let’s get into our feelings, shall we.

"From as long as I can remember I have been a beauty researcher without even noticing it"

I have come to realize, as the years passed, that the thing that made me the most fulfilled and satisfied over the course of my life has been when I was able to uncover beauty in the context that I was in. Aesthetic pleasure has actually become an obsession.

Form as long as I can remember I have been a beauty researcher without even noticing it.

Firstly, I am completely consumed by human beauty which I find fascinating. I analysed the women and men at parties my parents would take me, staring longingly at those people whose charisma could captivate a room, trying to grasp why they were so attractive. I am still fascinated by those who are considered “icons” of their generation. It amazes me how one person can embody so perfectly the common aspiration of an era that they become the fantasy: I think of Monroe, Birkin, Bardot, Moss, Bruni, Evangelista ... On a more granular level, if you know me personally, you know that I am a disturbingly physiognomist : I can’t help but awkwardly decompose faces, and remember their details like a creep. I always analyse the face structure of strangers I bump into in the subway or on the street, trying to understand how the combination of prominent cheekbones, a longer nose, the space between eyebrows, a long nape of the neck, hooded eyes, fuller lips just … works. If each facial component when taken apart is ALWAYS “flawed”, sometimes, considering a face in its whole glory just ... moves you : “Man he/she is just so beautiful”. If you, my lovely reader, and I are acquainted, you better believe that I know what your face looks like better than you do (yes, I can describe your side-profile too).

Outside of understanding human beauty and charisma, human art production particularly makes me feel all the feels. I looked at paintings, at dancers that I love for hours. I always wondered why, even though I am very aware dance is just a body moving or that a masterpiece is just paint on a blank canvas, some of those productions just shake me to my core (for reference, stare at this from Jackson Pollock, this from Chagall, this Esmeralda variation, or the dying swan). I also tried to understand why fashion photography has such an impact on me. How this constructed, studio-edited reality connects so effortlessly with my inside world (for reference, see Limelight Nights from Helmut Newton, this portrait by Irving Penn).

Lastly, I paced tirelessly the streets of the cities I lived in, just to look around, stare at a building, and let nostalgia, pure euphoria or melancholy take me over completely. I know, I sound very tumblr.

"Beauty is not a thing, it is actually almost the opposite of something"

From all this observation I have come to the temporary conclusion (it’s always going to be a work in progress) that beauty is not a thing, it is actually almost the opposite of something. It is what the object hides, or rather what it implies. It’s the construction of a narrative that goes beyond the object, and almost abolishes the fundamental law of physics that postulates a strict alterity between you and the object. It sounds like intellectual bullshit at best, but lemme try to make sense of this unnecessary complicated brain juice.

Beauty, to me, goes beyond the thing itself. Most importantly it goes completely beyond the concept of what is useful/ part of a logical system. It takes you out of your human limitations, and by doing so gives you a glimpse of something that you do not quite get, that you perceive but cannot quantify. But, counterintuitively, by distancing from all utilitarians, and material considerations, it connects to your own human emotional experience (don’t get me wrong, I know that feelings are very material chemical reactions but for the sake of my demonstration I chose not to be too cynical). Hence beauty works its magic by mysteriously blurring the lines between your intangible inner world and what your senses can process from your environment (music, painting, human body you name it). It connects you with the object behind which beauty hides.

By being out of any materialistic/ literal considerations, beauty makes you forget the undeniable reality that humans are just carbon atoms, arranged in a very cool way, but still nothing more than animals with a powerful brain. That is why we do films, theatre plays, why we use humour (which by the way is textbook taking cues from your environment and creating a distance to generate comic space). I am thus convinced that if “stopping for smelling the roses” aka making the choice to recognize or create beauty is absolutely useless and unproductive, it shifts your life experience 100000%.

"Being sensitive to that mystery that is beauty helps gaining our power back in the context of our tragic human condition"

I was personally blessed with a privileged upbringing, but also with a nasty brain that was seldom satisfied with the exact reality of what was going on around me. I have thus a very emotional tendency and am super receptive to artistic production because it just actually entails a pleasurable physiological response for me (for illustration, see this vine). I’ve come to realize, from a young age that anything too logical, too literal either bored me to death or was scary and dangerous. It prompted me to have a very rich inner world, making up scenarios to escape reality. It enabled me to take the distance necessary to, quite literally, be the highest in the room in Kindergarten because I gave 0 efs about what the teacher was saying.

My point is, in nature’s grand scheme of things we are all so insignificant. It is a fact that is at best liberating, at worse panicking. At times like today where we are reminded that the ecosystem we are living in would almost be better off without us, and that in fact, despite the glorification of self and our so-called fulfilment by accumulating either materialistic belongings (classic capitalistic structure) or instagramable experiences (aah the modern age), our lives, our choices amount to close to nothing.

That is precisely why I think that being sensitive to that mystery that is beauty helps gaining our power back in the context of our tragic human condition. Because it has to do with choosing to be moved by what surrounds you and letting it unsettle you. You accept your human limitations and your ultimate insignificance, you just choose to see this weird ride that is life with a more pleasant perspective (I’m not here for a long time, I’m here for a good time). In other words it means choosing intensity over boredom, and fabulousness over practicality because it makes you actually feel physiologically a wider breadth of emotions that you can feel living in a human body (and if you are a softy like me, that vessel can feel a lot of things, I’m telling you).

"Let’s be beautifully useless because it makes life worth living, especially now"

Don’t get me wrong, I know that seeking that fab-factor everywhere and all the time is very much a double-ended sword. It can make you lose touch with reality because it creates expectations and standards that you’ll never meet (about yourself, a relationship, a job, you name it), it prompts you to run after something that you’ll never quite understand nor reach, and it makes you forget that sometimes, those intense emotional response to a deeply normal situation are just the result of being blind-sided by Whoremones (yes, you read well, if you are a woman you know those hormones are not respectful friends). Also, choosing to be attuned to what your environment might make you feel is accepting an equal intensity of not-so-happy feelings (tragic is beautiful too .. Duh). During those unprecedented times though, the vapid pleasure of seeing poetry in my limited life experience might be the most tangible thing that makes me feel better, so I consider that the downsides are worth it.

Since we’ve established that beauty it is not a thing in particular, it is by (my) definition everywhere and can be found even in the crappiest moments : for example, during a time when you might be quarantined, lonely, stressed out by a global pandemic. I wanted to finish with some tips but re-reading everything, I think you already get the point.

If you are looking for me, I’ll be at home (as yall should), moisturised, smelling delicious, looking at the early morning sunlight on my unmade bed, listening to Pink Matter by Frank Ocean, appreciating my brand new porcelain cup in which my first coffee of the day accompanied by the April edition of Love magazine just hits different.

Conclusion: Let’s be beautifully useless because it makes life worth living, especially now.

If you made it to the end, I hope this entertained you a bit better than mindlessly scrolling Instagram.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Stay safe and try to stay sane.

Mad Love